Friday, October 22, 2010

A Proper Lock on our Stop-gates

Man cannot live without self-control.  -Isaac Bashevis Singer

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.  –Galatians 5:22 

Most of us have had the unpleasant experience of having to deal with habitually aggressive people who lack proper self-control.  The person who lacks self-control is someone who is frequently ruled by uncontrolled emotion rather than reason and rationality.  All of us have what I call a “mental stop-gate” that keeps us from plunging into a situation that could create tremendous trouble in our lives.  The problem comes when people do not know how to keep that gate closed and they end up doing something they later regret.  Hateful words, angry emails, and downright violence all come about from self-control issues.  Keeping that stop-gate closed is serious business. 

One problem we all face is that we live with stress, and stress-related issues are increasing all of the time.  We are stressed out over finances, unemployment, marital conflict, problems with our children, conflicts with our adult children, health issues, or caring for aging parents.  Never before have I seen more people more stressed out than we are at this point in time.  All that stress can come tumbling into our stop-gate and sometimes it just gets blown wide open.  In the end, some unfortunate person has to deal with us while we’re in full rant.  That’s not a pretty picture. 

So, how do we manage all this stress and at the same time maintain proper self-control?  There are a number of ways we can manage stress and in the process develop stronger self-control.  Try some of these strategies, which work well for me: 

-Acquire and maintain some sort of hobby.  Your hobby doesn’t have to be anything fancy; it just has to be uniquely yours.  It can be collecting stamps or baseball cards, refinishing antique woodwork, playing an instrument, gardening, cross-stitch or knitting, or painting.  Be bold and innovative.  Take up a hobby you have always wanted to try, but never have.  This can be a wonderful way to unwind and release pent-up stress. 

-Develop the discipline of reading.  Reading is one of the all-time great stress relievers.  Reading relaxes the mind, calms the nerves, and can take us on journeys to exotic locations we may never get to visit in real life.  The possibilities for great literature are endless.  Try turning off the TV or computer for a while and read a good book.   

-Reward yourself frequently.  Stressful lives and hard work merit rewards.  Take time out from your busy schedule and take a little trip to Starbucks or some such establishment.  Have a mocha java or a café latte with a bran muffin.  Have two!  You get the idea. 

-Learn to relax.  Life is way too short to spend it uptight and angry all of the time.  Learn how to lighten up, laugh, and enjoy life right where you are. 

Is the lock on your stop-gate holding?  Great!  It’s a stressful world out there.  Don’t let it bring you down.  It’s going to be a wonderful day! 

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