Friday, October 15, 2010

Draining or Enriching? Which will it be?

I can never think of promoting my convenience at the expense of a friend's interest and inclination. - George Washington 

If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!  -Ecclesiastes 4:10 

Are there people in your life you find yourself avoiding?  Perhaps the reason you avoid the person in question is that he or she has is never happy, is overly critical, and is a complainer.  Dealing with such people can leave us emotionally exhausted.  We begin to feel as though we are giving into the relationship while getting almost nothing back.  I am not suggesting that we always ditch such people; you and I may be the only ones who keep them at least close to the right track.  But that’s a huge responsibility, and one that can tax our patience. 

This is why we do well to build into our lives healthy relationships.  Just as we have people in our lives that can drain us, we can also have in our lives persons who enrich us.  These wonderful people typically see life from a more positive perspective.  They have problems like the rest of us, but they resolve to not be defeated by them.  They have faults and failures, but they have such strength of character that they know how to employ their strengths to the greatest benefit.  One aspect of critical and unhappy people is that they ignore the strengths of others while exaggerating their weaknesses.  Those with a brighter outlook are aware of the weaknesses of others, but they seek to encourage them toward their strengths. 

If you have such a friend, then by all means develop that friendship and learn from this individual.  Also consider that you and I are perfectly capable of becoming the ones who enrich the lives of those around us rather than drain them.  Therefore, a good question to ask of ourselves is, “Do I drain or enrich those around me?” If you truly desire to enrich the lives of others while also becoming more upbeat, then try these suggestions: 

  • Smile more often: at strangers, cashiers, your family, and even when you are on the phone.  The person on the other end will “hear” the smile in voice and will respond positively.
  • Go on a “complaining fast.  This is where you try to go the entire day without making one negative comment.  Over time you will begin to orient yourself to making more positive statements rather than negative. 
  • Cease from criticizing your spouse, children, or friends in front of other people.  This only breeds resentment.
  • Develop good listening skills.  Let others speak, tell their story, or just reminisce as long as they desire.  Trust me; our time to speak will come.
  • Learn to keep a confidence.  If someone trusts us with a confidence, treat it as sacred as a priest’s confessional.
 So, which will it be; a drainer or one who enriches?  The choice is yours.

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