Resolving to Have a Better Attitude

Be not afraid of life. Believe that life is worth living and your belief will help create the fact.  -William James 

Everywhere I go I meet people who are discouraged, depressed, and letting their negative attitudes rule their lives.  Why is it that so many people these days are unhappy and stressed out?  Part of the reason is that today we live with more financial pressures than ever before.  Another factor is the fast paced, high pressure, and uncertain times in which we live.  All that stress can result in a lot of unhealthy emotions and eventually it comes out in negativity and cynicism.  If you are able to maintain a bright and happy outlook then consider yourself fortunate.  Countless people are just barely hanging on.   

Over the years I have tried to develop strategies for positively coping with the stress that exists in my life.  But this is an ongoing practice that must be continually evaluated and perfected. We have to want to make changes for the better before we will ever move in that direction.  Is your attitude not where you want it to be?  If so then consider these strategies for being a more positive and optimistic person: 

• Get rid of sarcasm.  I don’t know how I became such a sarcastic person, but it happened.  A number of years ago I realized that I was letting my frustrations come out in sarcastic remarks.  I truly dislike myself the most when I am complaining or being openly and bitterly sarcastic.  Resolve to stop this behavior.  When you feel the words about to fall out stop; you will immediately see the difference in your outlook.
  

• Develop the habit of putting others’ needs first.  When we begin to think about the needs of other people we stop putting so much emphasis on ourselves.  We are released from the pressure of always looking out for #1 as the world teaches and we instead begin to be concerned with others.  With this comes the wonderfully gratifying reward of knowing that we are serving our fellow man rather than only ourselves.  This carries emotional rewards that lift our spirits and improve attitude.
  

• Smile, make positive comments, and compliment people whether you feel like it or not.  This is where the old “fake it until you feel it” rule may have to be applied.  The more positive and affirming statements we make the better we feel.  We will also be rewarded by the positive responses we get from those around us. 

• Stop complaining.  Does this need further explanation?  I didn’t think so.   

Take a stand and make a decision to be a brighter and more optimistic person.  We can’t do this on our own, but with God’s help it can be done.

Have a great day!

Stay Focused During Winter

O, wind,
If Winter comes, can Spring be far behind?  -Percy Bysshe Shelley 

I have to ask, how are you doing during these dark and cold days of winter?  Is your mood holding up and is your attitude positive?  Hopefully, you are holding forth with a good attitude during these dreary and bitterly cold days which we are going through right now.  This past Monday was partly sunny and even though it was cold the sunshine was wonderful.  Be sure to get out in the sun for a while even on cold days as this has a powerful effect on mood and outlook. 

I am glad to report that I have not wavered in my commitment to exercise outside all winter long.  As I have stated before, this isn’t for everyone, but it works for me.  Each morning I have been continuing my 20-30 minutes of calisthenics outside regardless of the weather.  After about 100 or so jumping jacks and 50 push-ups my heart rate is up, my mood is beginning to soar, and I get into a rhythm that drives me through the entire workout.  Whatever form of exercise you are doing be sure to keep it up all winter long as the health benefits are too powerful to deny. 

As we go through the months of winter, consider these continued strategies for managing and controlling the winter blues: 

• Stay committed to your exercise routine.  If you aren’t exercising regularly then now is the time to begin.  You will not regret it and you will be astounded by the results. 

• Continue to maintain a healthy diet plan.  Keep avoiding junk food, fast food, and soft drinks.  Try cutting back on soft drinks to the point that you can count on one hand how many you are drinking in a month.  Once you reach that point you will know that you are getting control of your eating habits.
  

• Stop procrastinating about what you have wanted to try.  Consider what you have wanted to try and go for it.  The possibilities might include painting, drawing, pottery, woodworking, or writing.  Any of these will provide you with a wonderful sense of accomplishment and well being.
  

• Start a journal or diary.  Writing down our thoughts is a great way to come to terms with what we are facing and how we are coping.  Go back later and re-read your entries and you will be amazed at how you’ve grown.  A word of caution, however; bear in mind that whatever you write down will most likely be read by someone else at some point.  So, be honest, but also be sensible. 

• Volunteer your time at a local charity.  Nothing beats the blues like helping others. 

Spring seems like a long way off, but let’s make the most of life while we’re waiting for it. 

Have a great day!

The Value of Human Connections

I value the friend who finds time for me on his calendar, but I cherish the friend who for me does not consult his calendar.  –Robert Brault 

I would like for you to again consider the power and importance of human connections.  If you find that you are a person easily given to depression, sadness, or the blues, one of the worst approaches you can take to your problem is to cut yourself off from other people.  Isolation is a recipe for continued sorrow and heartache.  All of us have times when we need to be alone.  This is what I call having “down time” or what has been referred to as “me time.”  There is nothing wrong with that if done at appropriate times and with the right perspective.  However, a lifestyle of isolation from other people can have detrimental effects on our overall outlook on life. 

We were made to associate with others.  Connecting with other people is part of the way we are all hardwired.  Remove that from our lives and we end up lonely, sorrowful, and bitter.  The problem is that when we feel lousy we do not want to be around other people.  Being alone may be easier, but it’s definitely not beneficial.  If you have found yourself purposely withdrawing from others let me challenge you rise up and get back in touch.  Now is the time to end any self-imposed exile.  Begin right away to re-connect with others.   

Connection with others provides us with a support system in times of trouble, encouragement in periods of sorrow, and a renewed sense of our own worth.  I have heard it said that the best way to make friends is to be a friend.  As others provide support and encouragement, be willing to provide that for others.   

It’s a big world out there with limitless possibilities.  Get up, get out, and be a part of it. 

It can and will be a great day!

Finding an Outlet for Stress

Don't you just hate it when life doesn't follow the manuals?  -Anonymous   

Yesterday I spent the day helping a friend of mine with a renovation job he is doing on a cabin he and his wife purchased.  When they are finished this is going to be a wonderful place to get away, relax, and take vacations.  As we were working he was telling me how that spending time in projects such as these is a tremendous stress reliever.  As I pondered this I had to consider all of the outlets I have built into my own life for coping with stress.  I have writing, music, exercise, and hiking.  All of these are great outlets for the stresses associated with being a pastor and with day-to-day problems.   

What about you?  What sort of outlets do you have to release the stress you face?  There is no question that you have at least some stress in your life.  Looking for a lifestyle that is stress free is utterly impractical, for such a lifestyle is non-existent.  However, finding healthy outlets for stress is not only attainable, but absolutely reasonable.  I sometimes have conversations with people who tell me that they honestly have nothing they do as a strategy for getting rid of the stresses in their lives.  Instead, they simply try to cope with their problems and go on.  Let me challenge you today to consider some strategies for managing stress.  Here are some suggestions to think about:

• Exercise daily.  This has become for me one of the all time great stress relievers.  The health benefits are numerous as is the increase in confidence and improved outlook. 

• Find a hobby.  What do you have that is all yours?  Is there a pursuit that you can practice that is uniquely yours?  The possibilities are great and should be suitable to your individual gifts and talents.  Take up woodworking, sculpting, painting, or learn to play an instrument.  Set aside time to pursue whatever hobby you choose.  The rewards will be remarkable. 

• Stay connected.  Don’t make the mistake of shutting yourself off from other people.  Stay in touch with friends, re-connect with family, or volunteer with a charitable organization, or attend church regularly.  You have much to offer.  Share those talents with others.
  

• Stop being so hard on yourself.  You are only one person, and in God’s eyes you are unique, special, and wonderful.  Don’t forget that you are loved and cared for.  While you are at it, learn not to let criticism get you down.  

Stress will always be in or lives.  Develop a plan for facing it and stick with that plan. 

It’s going to be a great day!

Strategies for a Healthier Heart

Embracing a healthier life is one of the best gifts we can give ourselves and those we love.   –The American Heart Association  

As I stated in a recent blog entry, February is “Heart Month” for the American Heart Association (AHA).  Think about how many of us have been touched by the problems associated with heart disease.  Perhaps at some point you have suffered a heart attack.  If not you, then no doubt a friend or loved one has had heart trouble.  This blog is dedicated to encouraging people to build strategies into their lives that facilitate happiness, health, and a brighter outlook.  All of the strategies I have discussed in previous blogs, especially those dedicated to diet and exercise, go hand in hand with the philosophies of the AHA.   

Let me share with you some strategies from the AHA for lowering the risk of heart disease: (1)

• Get active.  As I have said many times, regular exercise is crucial to maintaining good health and brighter outlook.  The AHA also states that exercise increases HDL “good” cholesterol in the blood.   You don’t have to spend a fortune to get in shape, for there are all sorts of free and fun ways to exercise such as walking, bike riding, jogging, and calisthenics. 
  

• Control cholesterol.  Be sure to have routine screenings and avoid foods rich in saturated fat, trans fat, and dietary cholesterol.   

• Eat better.  Get rid of junk food, fast food, and sweets.  Try eating more green leafy vegetables, fresh fruits, and whole grains.
  

• Manage blood pressure.  According to the AHA, there is no cure for high blood pressure, but it can be managed through lifestyle changes involving eating a heart-healthy diet, which may include reducing salt; enjoying regular physical activity; maintaining a healthy weight; managing stress; limiting alcohol; avoiding tobacco smoke. 

• Lose weight.  If you are overweight and serious about shedding some pounds, talk with your doctor and work out a program for weight loss.  You will feel better emotionally and mentally, and the health benefits are nothing short of remarkable.   

• Reduce blood sugar.  According to the AHA, a check up with your doctor is crucial.  He or she can then make recommendations for lowering and managing blood sugar levels. 

• Stop smoking.  If I have said this once in this blog I have said it a dozen times.  If you are smoking you are slowly killing yourself.  The health risks associated with smoking are too great to be ignored.  Give up smoking and you will add years to your life as well as increase your overall quality of life as you age. 

The time to start making healthy life choices is right now.  You only have one heart.  Be sure to take good care of it. 

Have a great day! 

(1) http://mylifecheck.heart.org/Multitab.aspx?NavID=3&CultureCode=en-US  

Keeping our Emotional Buckets Emptied

Walking around with a full bucket of emotions if a dangerous thing.  –D.B. 

In my book, “The Invitation, Embracing a Happier Life,” I devoted a portion of chapter ten to discussing the “emotional bucket” which we all possess.  Imagine this as a bucket we all carry around on our shoulders every day.  Over time the bucket fills up with stress related to work, problems, family trouble, financial pressures, and a host of other frustrations that we face as a part of life.  Eventually the bucket will fill up and then begin to spill over in the form of impatience, sarcasm, unkind remarks, and irritability.  It can also be dangerous for the unfortunate person upon whom the entire bucket gets dumped. 

At some point that full bucket will come pouring out on someone who happens to catch us at the wrong moment.  Trying to stop the flow once it begins is difficult if not impossible.  This process explains why a seemingly sane person can be reduced to a ranting and raving lunatic.  If you have even been the recipient of such a tirade you know what I am talking about.  You may also have been the one who blew all your circuits and behaved like a maniac with lots of screaming, shouting, and cursing.   

Consider these strategies for keeping our emotional buckets emptied:

• Learn to lighten up and relax.  The problems we sometimes face can appear to be insurmountable.  Does that mean that we are required to be miserable in the midst of them?  The answer is, of course not.  Make a conscious decision to be upbeat and positive even in the face of stress and difficulties.  Give this time.  You will probably be amazed at how the situation has improved between now and next year. 

• Find a positive outlet for stress.  Take up a new hobby, learn to play an instrument, take up woodworking, try your hand at painting or sculpting, or learn a new skill which you have never attempted. 

• Learn to practice perspective.  So many of the perceived problems we face are nothing more than inconveniences.  Learn to tell the difference.  Stop being upset with situations that in the broad scheme of things are not that big of a deal.  Shake it off and go on.  Stop and count your blessings.  Whatever you are facing right now remember that someone else has it a lot worse. 
  

• Exercise daily.  This is the untapped resource for managing stress.  Daily exercise works wonders in lowering the stress levels in our emotional buckets. 
  

• Stop complaining and start making positive statements.  Believe me when I say that no one wants to hear you or I complain.  But they will welcome positive and affirming statements. 

Rise up, get going, and get those buckets emptied.   

It’s going to be a great day!

Recognizing the Symptoms of Depression and Seeking Treatment

Do not give in and do not give up.  Life is worth the living.  –D.B. 

I read a story once about a man who went to see a doctor.  He told the doctor that he was so sad, sorrowful, and depressed that he could hardly function.  The doctor said, “I think I know what will make you feel better.  The great clown, Pagliacci is in town this week.  He is guaranteed to make you laugh.  Go see him.  That will surely pick you up.”  The man burst into tears.  “But doctor,”  the man said.  “I am Pagliacci.”   

Perhaps you have heard this story before.  I have heard it a few times over the years told in different forms, but its message is powerful and relevant.  So often we go about our daily lives pretending that we feel fine, while on the inside we feel that we are just barely holding on.  If this describes you do not delay in getting treatment.  Talk to your doctor, pastor, or a trusted friend.  Help is available, but you must seek it out.  Do not go around any longer playing this terrible game of masquerade.   

I know from personal experience the dark and terrible emotional pit in which depression can leave us.  We begin to wonder if we will ever feel better or normal again.  We wonder what it would take to ever be happy once again.   Even the simplest daily tasks can become overwhelming to the point that getting out of bed every day is like trying to scale Mount Everest.  Do not give in and do not give up.  Life is worth the living.   

Whether you are suffering from depression, sadness, or a case of the blues, try these strategies for moving toward recovery:

• Determine if depression runs in your family.  If others in your family have battled depression, you are more likely to suffer from it also.
  

• Conduct an honest, personal assessment of your feelings and your overall outlook.  Are you feeling run down and tired all the time?  Have you lost interest in pursuits which once gave you enjoyment?  Are you preoccupied and irritable?  Are you sad and sorrowful but cannot figure out why?  Do you sleep too much?  Are simple tasks such as getting up, getting dressed, and doing household chores seem like way too much trouble?  If you answered yes to most or some of these questions you may be suffering from depression.  Contact your doctor right away for a consultation.  Help and treatment are available. 

• Make a promise to yourself that you will not give up and that you will move toward recovery no matter how long it takes.  Depression can be treated, but you must take the necessary steps to receive treatment. 

Do not fear getting help.  You are not alone.  Countless people are suffering from this affliction.  A brighter day is coming.   

Move toward that brighter day and never give up.