Setting Goals for the New Year

A New Year's resolution is something that goes in one Year and out the other.  -Anonymous  

I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions, so I usually don’t make any.  People who make New Year’s resolutions tend to become frustrated when they are unable to keep them.  Such resolutions are sometimes not carefully thought out, are made in haste, or they are based on present feelings or emotions.  It all sounds pretty good on January first, but by the time March or April rolls around we are wondering why we thought we could do this all year – whatever the resolutions was.  Don’t make a resolution you honestly don’t believe you can or will keep.  What I mean is, before you pay a year in advance for the membership at the local health club, be certain you intend to follow through with that commitment.   

Rather than make resolutions, try instead to set a few goals which you believe you can achieve in the coming year.  As you consider goals for the coming year, think in terms of goals that are reasonable and attainable.  Write down a list of possible goals, and then go back and determine which ones are the most feasible.  Develop a plan as to how your goals can be accomplished.  Having narrowed them down to a few reasonable goals, take steps to put them into action.  We often think of achievements such as losing weight or taking up an exercise program.  Those are fine, but think also about goals that pertain to attitude.   

Consider these suggestions to put into practice for the New Year which will assist in being a happier and more positive person:

• Resolve to stop making negative statements.  Condemning and hateful remarks have a harmful effect on our outlook and interpersonal relationships.  Make a conscious decision to make positive statement rather than negative.
  

• Resolve to be a better listener.  Learn to relax during a conversation.  Let others have the glory when telling their story.  Learn to stop and seriously listen to what people are saying to you.  Rest assured that you will get your chance to speak.  Being a better listener will have a powerful effect on how you relate to your family, friends, and coworkers.
  

• Resolve to start being on time.  Countless people are always running late.  Make a decision that in the coming year you will learn to better manage your time so that you will arrive on time where you are supposed to be.  As a result you will be more relaxed and focused.
  

• Resolve to compliment others, tell people you appreciate them, and say “thank you” when someone does something nice for you.  The little attitude adjustments can work wonders on our outlook over the long haul.

So, what are you waiting for?  Get ready, for the New Year has come. 

It’s going to be a great year!

Taking the Time to Enjoy the Small Blessings

Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many - not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.   -Charles Dickens 

I receive more inspirational email forwards than I can begin to read, but sometimes one will catch my attention.  There are a number of them I hope to never see again, but probably will as email forwards have a way of making the rounds ever so often.  The one I was thinking of came to my inbox right before Christmas.  You have probably received it many times, but on the outside chance that you haven’t, allow me to share it with you here. 

Today...I wish you a day of ordinary miracles. 

A fresh pot of coffee you didn't have to make yourself.

An unexpected phone call from an old friend.

Green stoplights on your way to work or shop.

I wish you a day of little things to rejoice in…

The fastest line at the grocery store

A good sing-along song on the radio

Your keys right where you look

I wish you a day of happiness and perfection-little bite-size pieces of perfection that give you the funny feeling that the Lord is smiling on you, holding you so gently because you are someone special and rare.

I wish you a day of peace, happiness, and joy. 

I have no idea who wrote this, but I certainly like the sentiments and the truth it conveys.  Take time to enjoy life, especially the small blessings.  They come our way often, but sadly we are too busy or consumed with our own problems to notice or appreciate them.  If you are happy today and your life is in a good place and going in a positive direction, then stop and be thankful.  Laugh until it hurts, smile at those around you, and take time to fully appreciate all of life’s free blessings.  Those treasures will often come in the smallest and most plain packages. 

Enjoy the moment and be happy. 

It’s going to be a great day!

Looking Ahead to new Growth in the Coming Year

Nobody really cares if you're miserable, so you might as well be happy.  -Cynthia Nelms 

I am the kind of person that tends to think a little too much.  Someone who knew me in high school and who then caught up with me a few years ago via the Internet said that I always looked like a had  a lot on my mind.  That is a fair assessment.  I did then and I often do now.  That is why I have devoted a great deal of energy learning how to manage my emotions lest I become distracted to the point of becoming depressed and anxious all of the time.  Believe me when I say that there are strategies we can develop that will empower us to stop being anxious, depressed, moody, and cynical.  The challenge comes in developing these strategies and then putting them into practice. 

As we come to the end of the year I hope that you will see this as an occasion to reflect on what you have learned in the past year and then make some plans for personal growth in the year ahead.  Be careful not to give into feelings of discouragement over what didn’t get done this past year.  There are wonderful opportunities ahead to grow and move toward your goals and dreams.  Consider these strategies for personal growth and becoming a more positive person:

 

• Remember that you have the power to alter negative and destructive thought processes.  When you feel yourself slipping into a negative frame of mind, stop and take hold of the situation.  The only person forcing you to dwell on failures, problems, or disappointments is you.  Don’t try to completely block out the bad memory, but instead let it play out and then move on.  And I mean move on – to happier and brighter thoughts.  You are an individual of immeasurable worth and potential.  Never forget that. 

• Picture what you desire to accomplish in the coming year and then move toward it.  Be sure that your goals are realistic and attainable.  Have a plan as to how your goals will be accomplished.  If it’s exercise, start small and work your way up.  If it’s losing weight, chose a diet program and stick with it.   

• Begin to view problems as opportunities for personal growth.  Muscles don’t grow unless they are stretched.  The old saying about “no pain no gain” is true.  The same rule applies to growing in maturity and focus.  As we learn how to manage our emotions in times of stress and discouragement we build character and patience.   

• Be patient.  Becoming what God intends for us to be takes time – a lifetime, in fact.  Try not to rush it and learn to enjoy yourself along the way. 
  

So, what do you have planned for today?  Now is the time and today is the day.  Rise up and get going. 

It’s going to be a great day!

More Strategies for a Great Christmas

We never repent of having eaten too little.  -Thomas Jefferson  

We just returned from a family trip to Ohio and I have to say that it was a wonderful time.  In fact, I cannot recall when we have had a more relaxed and stress free trip than this one.  Part of the reason for me personally is that I resolved to simply enjoy being with family who I don’t get to see very often, and in the process not think about problems awaiting me back home.  I am glad to report that this strategy worked magnificently.  There are a few issues I had to face upon my return and I barely thought about them during this visit.  The result was a special and meaningful time with family. 

Another strategy I employed was a strict adherence to my daily exercise routine.  Each of the three mornings we were at my parent’s home I blocked out time in my schedule for my daily 30 minutes of calisthenics.  My folks were a little dubious of my plan to exercise outside on their patio in 20 degree weather, but I assured them that it would be fine as I had been exercising outside at home during two weeks of single digit weather.  I don’t recommend this to everyone, but for me this is invigorating and uplifting.  Remember my rule of consulting with your family doctor before beginning any exercise routine. 

My third strategy for our family visit in Ohio was to limit my portions of all that rich and wonderful food that was served to us about every hour.  We had a joke that if we became hungry we should eat as we probably hadn’t done so in at least two or three hours.  I admit that I struggled with keeping the portions sizes down, but I take comfort in knowing that this blessed season, with all this great food, is about to end for another year.  With all this in mind, consider these continued strategies for making this the best Christmas ever:

• Resolve that as soon as Christmas is over you will return to a normal and healthier diet.
  

• Keep up your exercise routine.  Do not allow all the other aspects of the Christmas season to deter you from this healthy endeavor.  The result will be a healthier, more relaxed, and better adjusted you. 

• Do not be distracted by difficult relatives.  We all have them.  As I have stated in previous blogs, resolve to be the bigger person.  Set an example of how a mature, well adjusted, and focused adult handles family conflicts. 

I love the Christmas season.  Make a conscious decision to make this the best Christmas ever. 

Merry Christmas! 

Continuing to Manage Christmas Related Stress

“And therefore, uncle, though it has never put a scrap of gold or silver in my pocket, I believe it has done me good, and will do me good; and I say, God bless it!”  -Scrooge’s nephew speaking of Christmas, “A Christmas Carol,” by Charles Dickens 

Something that invariably happens after Christmas is the trip to the store to make a return.  When I do a little after Christmas browsing I am always amazed at the people who will wait in line for hours trying to return some item.  Often we end up with something we don’t need, don’t, want, or it’s the wrong size.  Regardless, that wait at the return line can be frustrating.  And we thought that the Christmas stress was all behind us. 

Rather than return your item right after Christmas, why not be patient and wait a week or two?  By then the lines will have died down and your trip to the dreaded return department will be a little less stressful.  Better yet, do what I do; if the store you are returning your item to is open late, try returning or exchanging the item late in the evening.  Would you be surprised to find out that I have exchanged items at the store at midnight or later?  That sounds crazy, I know, but it was worth not having to wait in those long lines. 

Here are a few easy tips for managing Christmas related stress:

• Take time to relax.  If you still have some shopping to do, work into your schedule a little stop at the coffee shop.  Nothing says “relax” like a hot cup of coffee and a fat free muffin.  You will then return to your shopping more relaxed, less stressed, and ready to handle those frantic shoppers who haven’t had their coffee break. 

• Watch a Christmas classic with your family. Schedule an evening and watch one of these Christmas favorites, all which are available on DVD: “It’s a Wonderful Life,” “A Christmas Story,” “Miracle on 34^th Street,” “How the Grinch Stole Christmas,” or “A Christmas Carol (my favorite is the version starring George C. Scott as Scrooge).”
  

• Get out and do something you have never done before.  Attend a local Christmas parade, bundle up and go for a walk in the park on a freezing snowy day, or organize a group of friends and family and go Christmas caroling at a local nursing home or hospital. 

• Reach out, connect, and get involved with the community.  A number of churches and organizations in my area serve Christmas dinner every Christmas Day to anyone who wants to come in and enjoy a free meal.  Wherever you live, I am certain there is a similar outreach in your community.  Consider volunteering your time.  You will be blessed and you will come away from the experience with a wonderful feeling of having performed a kindness to your fellow man. 

Do not allow yourself to be overcome with the stress of the Christmas season.  Resolve to enjoy it and to bless those around you. 

It’s going to be a great Christmas!

More Tips on Diet and Exercise

The word aerobics came about when the gym instructors got together and said, "If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it jumping up and down."  -Rita Rudner 

As I have said in previous blog posts, I occasionally have conversations with people about diet and exercise and they will admit that they don’t get enough of either.  For many this does not involve simply not getting enough exercise, but rather they are not exercising at all.  There is a difference between being active and getting proper exercise.  Many of my colleagues in ministry will admit to rarely if ever engaging in any form of cardiovascular exercise.  Combine this with being overweight, overworked, and stressed out and you have a dangerous health situation.  A little over a year ago I began a daily workout routine and I can honestly say that it has made wonderful difference in my outlook and my overall health.  As I have previously stated, if I can do it, so can you. 

Consider these strategies for getting in shape and engaging in a form of exercise:

• Try walking every day with a friend.  Many years ago my wife Andrea decided that she needed a form of exercise.  Through a conversation with an acquaintance she discovered that this person enjoys walking.  Andrea began walking with her and sometimes another lady, and she has kept this up for about ten years.  Before her cancer diagnosis and subsequent surgery she was walking as much as five miles a day, five mornings a week.  It is going to take a while to get back to that pace, but I have no doubt she will.  She has also developed enriching friendships with her fellow walkers. 

• Take a careful look at your eating, and drinking, habits.  I know a young man who struggled with his weight throughout his teenage years.  He began a strict diet, and over a period of a year and a half went from 225 pounds down to 170.  Did he have a secret diet plan?  Not really; he simply cut out all soft drinks and sweets from his diet, started eating more vegetables, and began a regimented exercise program involving calisthenics and running.  No fad diets, no expensive workout equipment, but rather he adjusted his eating habits and began exercising 

• Start off small and work your way up.  Don’t go out today and try to walk or jog five miles.  Start with walking a small distance and then increase this over time.  Personally, I am not a fan of jogging as this creates tremendous stress on the knees and ankles.  A brisk walk will provide the same benefits without the stress on knees and ankles. 
  

• Make your exercise routine fun.  Whatever form of exercise you are doing be sure to have fun with it.  Play tennis, ride a bike, take up handball, or just go for a brisk walk every day. 

As with any exercise program, be sure to talk with your doctor first. 

It’s going to be a great day!

More Thoughts on Having a Positive Attitude

If your ship doesn't come in, swim out to it.  -Jonathan Winters  

People who possess skill and talent, but lack a positive attitude will have trouble using their skills to the fullest potential.  It’s not always the best player on the team or the most knowledgeable person on the staff that gets the promotion, but often it’s the person with the best attitude.  An upbeat and positive attitude will take us farther than we would have ever believed possible.  On the other hand, a terrible attitude will hold us back and ever stand in the way of personal growth, healthy relationships, and opportunities.   

With each passing year I come to better realize the importance of obtaining and maintaining a vibrant and positive attitude.  You want to know something?  I have a long way to go.  I have to daily discipline myself to keep a good attitude and not surrender to negativity, bitterness, and cynicism.  Keeping a positive attitude is hard work; it must be practiced every day.  Our attitude affects how we tackle problems, accomplish goals, and relate to those around us.  Attitude can mean the difference between facing a problem with maturity and strength and falling apart.

How is your attitude these days?  Do you push away people and opportunities that might otherwise enrich your life?  If so, an adjustment in attitude is in order.  Consider these strategies for gaining and keeping a better and brighter attitude:

• Resolve to stop being critical.  Anytime we speak ill of other people we open ourselves up to a host of bitter feelings and angry thoughts.  Countless people have made careers out of criticizing just about everything.  They are critical of their friends, spouses, churches, towns, neighbors, and the food served at restaurants.  Are you acquainted with such a person?  Here is a crucial question: is this person happy?  The answer is, probably not.  I have never met a critical person who was genuinely happy.   

• Learn to roll with the punches.  Life is hard and may get harder.  What will we do in response?  Will we lie down and give up?  A positive attitude empowers us to see past our problems to a brighter day that may be just around the corner.  Keep moving forward as that brighter day can be right now. 

• Get up, get out, and get going.  Stop sitting and moping around all of the time.  Six years ago if you had told me that I would be writing a blog about strategies for overcoming depression and the blues I would probably not have believed it.  If I can overcome depression and learn to successfully manage it, then I believe you can too.  Don’t give up – ever.  

•  Picture in your mind a brighter, happier, and more upbeat you, and then become that person.    

Don’t try climb the mountain today, but take it one step at a time.  If you have a bad attitude you didn’t develop it overnight.  You won’t change it over night either.   

Get started today improving your attitude.  You will feel better and your problems will become smaller. 

It’s going to be a great day!