Managing Stress and Enjoying the Christmas Season

If people concentrated on the really important things in life, there'd be a shortage of fishing poles.  -Doug Larson

Well, here we are in what may be the most stressful season of the year.  Christmas is a wonderful time of year, and I know from personal experience that I used to dread the coming of the season due to the stress it somehow creates.  This stress stems from everything that happens this time of year from trying to attend all of the Christmas parties, family gatherings, shopping, and having to handle the crowds and traffic around town.  Part of the challenge involves somehow being able to actually stop and enjoy the season without feeling overwhelmed and burdened.  If I didn’t think this was possible I wouldn’t be writing this blog.   

Try these strategies for handling stress during the Christmas season:

• Limit the amount of time spent with problem relatives.  If you have a relative who seems to go out of his / her way to create a scene around the family Christmas visit, then begin planning how to manage the situation.  Resolve that you will not be drawn into an argument, debate, or whatever else this person typically brings up.  Decide to be the bigger person and take the high road.  Someone has to act like a mature adult; be that person. 

• Don’t wait until December 23^rd to do all of your shopping.  I know that I said in my last blog that we do well to limit how much we spend this year, and I am standing by that.  Try streamlining your gift list, resolve to spend less on those you do buy for, and get busy.  We have less than a month to get all this done.
  

• Get creative in your gift-giving.  A couple of years ago Andrea and I decided to do something different for all of our extended family for Christmas.  We made a list of who would get a gift, and we then made everyone on the list a “goodie bag.” The goodie bag contained homemade caramel corn, chocolate covered pretzels, hot chocolate mix, and party mix (this is a combination of chex-mix, pretzels, cheese goldfish, and oyster crackers all seasoned and baked together).  Andrea and I had a wonderful time making the items and the goodie bags were a huge success.  The family raved about the treats and ate them with great relish. 
  

• Remember that this is all about giving.  The Christmas season is based the belief that God gave to us a wonderful gift in the coming of Jesus Christ into the world.  We do well to take that spirit with us wherever we go.  It’s not about me or you, but rather Christmas is about sharing with others the spirit of giving, loving, and graciousness.  Be kind, compassionate, patient, and more concerned with giving than getting gifts.  That in itself carries a tremendous reward. 

So, what are you waiting for?  Make the list and get going. 

It’s going to be a great Christmas!  

Managing Diet and Stress During the Holidays

There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.  -Henry Kissinger 

Most people that try to observe some healthy eating habits will sometimes throw it all out the window during Thanksgiving and Christmas.  In many cases we may be doing okay in terms of our eating habits, but the holidays come and we somehow forget that doubling out calorie and sugar intake is a bad idea.  Believe me when I say that I understand perfectly how difficult it is to resist all those delicious treats that appear before us, as if by magic, during this time of year.  Consider these strategies for adhering to a healthy diet, avoiding weight gain, and managing stress during the holidays: 

• Continue with your normal exercise routine.  During these cold and bleak winter months it is extremely easy to get out of the habit of exercising.  Even on cold winter days you can bundle up and go for a brisk walk.  The fresh, crisp air is invigorating and if the sun is shining you will be energized emotionally as well.  I know a man from our church that is approaching the age of 70, and rain or shine he walks twice a day at a local park.  This gentleman is fit, relaxed, calm, and I never find him in a bad mood.  Clearly there is a connection between his exercise regiment and his overall outlook and good health. 
  

• Resolve to eat smaller portions during the holidays.  When you go to someone’s home for a Christmas dinner, there will be benevolent and concerned people who will try to make sure that your plate is piled high with rich foods and desserts.  You must be the one to take charge of your eating habits and insist on smaller portions.  Someone may even tease you about it, and if that happens then use it as an opportunity to practice grace and patience.   

• Remember that you do not have to attend each and every Christmas party and dinner to which you are invited.  We are all extremely stressed out this time of year anyway.  Why add to this by overloading our schedules?  Sit down and look at your calendar for the rest of the year.  Make a conscious decision about what you will and will not do for the rest of the year and stick with that plan.  We cannot be more than one place at a time; stop trying to do everything, for this will quickly wear us out. 

• Scale back on your shopping budget this year.  Uncle Ed out in Sacramento probably doesn’t care one way or another if he receives a Christmas gift from you this year.  Send him a nice card with a recent photo.  That’s a lot less expensive than a new toaster and will be just as appreciated.   

Start practicing right now: “No thank you, I’m full.”  “Thank you, no; I’ve had plenty of cake.” 

It’s going to be a great Christmas!

Getting Enough Sleep?

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow.  -Charlotte Brontë 

Most of us understand that proper sleep is necessary to maintaining good health, but we don’t always get the sleep and rest we need.  Part of the problem stems from the busy, hectic, and overwhelmed lives we lead.  I have joked before that if I didn’t have to sleep I could get so much more accomplished!  However, getting the right amount of sleep each night is a vital part of an overall approach to good health and like or not, I have to sleep like everyone else. 

I have read that a good night’s sleep should be around eight hours, but I typically average around six or seven.  Most nights I go to bed around 12:30 AM and am up between 6:30 or 7:00 AM.  I have not given up on that elusive eight hours, but these days six or so seem to be working for me.  However, you may need more than that to keep up with your daily schedule.  If so, there is nothing wrong with that and this should merit keeping your schedule adjusted accordingly.   

I also have conversations with people who have trouble falling asleep and staying asleep.  Obviously, the first person you should talk with about this problem is your doctor, as he or she can advise you on what the problem may be.  In the meantime, consider these simple strategies for getting a better night’s sleep:

• Cut back on caffeine, especially later in the day.  If you are drinking regular coffee or caffeinated drinks late into the day there is a good chance this will affect your sleep.  Try cutting back on your caffeine intake; you may find a better night’s sleep as a result. 

• Begin or continue with a regular exercise routine.  I have found that over the last year as I have been pursuing a daily exercise routine that my sleep patterns have improved dramatically.  I fall asleep faster, sleep more deeply, and awake feeling more rested – and that with my typical six hours.  I know that I keep pounding on this point, but if you aren’t getting proper exercise, then now is the time to start.  See some of my past blogs for suggestions for getting more exercise.
  

• Avoid eating right before bedtime.  If you are eating late into the evening and having trouble sleeping there may well be a connection.  Try eating your last meal of the day before 6:00 PM and avoid heavy, fatty foods late into the evening.  You may also want to avoid drinking too much fluids right before bedtime as this can affect sleep as well.
  

• Practice a form of relaxation before going to bed.  Few people can go from 60 to 0 miles per hour in terms of our schedules and then go right to sleep.  Have an “unwind” period before bed.  Read a calming story or reflect on pleasant thoughts and memories. 

I was once told that sometimes the most productive thing we can do is get some rest.  That’s still good advice. 

It’s going to be a great day!

Properly Managing a Hectic Schedule

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to what light I have. -Abraham Lincoln

   

I find that people with good intentions often say yes when asked to take on more responsibility and activities in addition to their regular schedules.  In many instances we are already stressed out and over burdened, so why are we so quick to take on more?  The answer lies in our need to be involved, be a part of something larger than ourselves, and the desire to succeed.  If that describes you, then understand that such motivation can be extremely positive.  However, we can easily over extend ourselves to the point that we are busy, but not getting much of anything accomplished.   

Do you sometimes feel that you are forever trying to keep your house clean, yet the work is never done?  The fact is, the work is never done, but rather has to be managed.  When we begin to view our schedules in a similar light we begin to see that our responsibilities are never quite through, but rather must be managed from day-to-day.  There will come a time when all my responsibilities are finished, and that should be when someone is saying a few kind words, hopefully, at my funeral.  Until then it’s up to me to properly manage my schedule.   

You will see from previous blogs that staying active is positive and encouraged.  However, know where to draw the line between being too involved and trying to do too much.  Only you know where that line is, and you will certainly know when it’s crossed.  You begin to feel tired, exhausted, overwhelmed, and stressed out all of the time. Consider these strategies for properly managing your schedule:

• Get organized.  Schedule what you need to do on a calendar and stick with it.  This includes spending time with family, taking time off, and pursuing a hobby. 

• Set priorities.  Determine what is most important and how you will achieve the goals you have set for yourself.  For me, each day begins with a time of prayer and Bible reading.  That is a priority that I strive to practice on daily basis.  Consider also that if our relationships with family suffers then so does everything else.  Learn the value of nurturing our most vital relationships 

• Know your own limitations.  There are some pursuits that simply aren’t in the cards for us.  We do well to accept that.  However, there are worlds of opportunities that are well with within our grasp.  Learn to tell the difference between these areas. 

• Learn to say no.  We can spread ourselves so thin that not much is getting accomplished because we are so frazzled all of the time.  You are only one person.  If you already have a full and perhaps overloaded schedule then it’s okay to say no once in a while.  Don’t beat yourself up over it. 

Remember that you are a wonderfully unique individual with unlimited worth and potential.   

It’s going to be a great day!

Happiness in the Midst of Problems

Little minds are tamed and subdued by misfortune, but great minds rise above them.  -Washington Irving 

As we grow older we come to understand that adversity is a part of life.  Trouble, problems, frustrations, and disappointments come to us all.  Understanding this truth is not being cynical, but rather it’s confronting a cold, hard, reality.  Our common tendency is to be surprised and sometimes even shocked that something bad has happened to us, as if those trials should never come at all.  Do you ever feel this way?  If so you are in good company.  Most people, me included, are surprised when trouble finds us. 

The inability to come to terms with life’s struggles can create some serious obstacles to our happiness and peace of mind.  We can feel overwhelmed, distracted, worried, and fearful to the point that the simplest pleasures lose their appeal.  Our sleep is disrupted, food loses its taste, and we have trouble enjoying ourselves because we are always thinking about our problems.  The challenge is to confront our problems while at the same time maintain a level of peace, joy, and happiness.  That is a challenge, to be sure, but it can be accomplished.  Consider these strategies for maintaining peace and happiness in the midst of problems:

• Do something out of the ordinary.  Often we get so bogged down in our day-to-day routines that we forget that we are allowed to do something different.  Seek out a park in your area where you rarely go or have never been and take a long walk.  Bring along your dog; he or she will love it!  Pack a lunch and make an afternoon of it.  Visit an art museum in your town.  Visit your public library and check out some books by an author you have never read.  Such experiences expand our horizons and help us to see our problems in a more positive light.
  

• Take a break from your problems.  You may not be able to take a vacation from your problems, but you can surely find time to take a break from them.  Resolve that while you are at the park, the movies, out to dinner, walking the dog, reading a new novel, or visiting your grandkids, that you will not think about your problems during that time.   

• Learn to think in “big picture” terms.  The present problem may look bleak, but it doesn’t have to be the end of the world.  Try to see beyond the problem to a time when it has past.  Resolve to confront the problem, whatever it may by, in a mature fashion.  Take a deep breath and envision a brighter day that is surely coming.
  

• Learn to count your blessings every day.  We all have problems, but we also have blessings.  Take time to think about these and be thankful for them all over again. 

Life is hard, but it doesn’t have to defeat us.  We can have happiness in the midst of our troubles. 

It’s going to be a great day!

Another Look at the Power of Attitude

If you aren't fired with enthusiasm, you will be fired with enthusiasm.  -Vince Lombardi 

I have heard all of my life about the importance of attitude, but it’s only been in the last decade that this subject has become deeply personal to me.  A bad attitude not only affects how we navigate through problems, but it also influences how we relate to other people.  I have had to go back in recent years and apologize to my wife and sons for those times when my bad attitude adversely affected our relationship.  Fortunately, I have learned some useful strategies for obtaining and keeping a more positive attitude even during those times when I am not feeling well or am going through some problem. 

How will we respond to problems?  Will we lie down in defeat, or will we rise up and confront the challenges head-on?  The choice is absolutely ours to make.  Every one of us has the power to stand firm and tackle the frustrations, irritations, problems, and crises that life throws at us on a regular basis.  Anyone can give up without a fight, which explains why so many people choose this course.  However, we can make a decision to rise up and meet the challenge and not give up.  The latter approach leads to personal growth, and it begins with a right attitude.  Consider these strategies for developing and keeping a better attitude each day:

• Make a conscious decision to practice self-control.  Nothing gets accomplished when we blow all our circuits and start ranting, raving, and cursing like a lunatic.  Resolve that come what may you will handle conflicts and problems in an adult-like manner.  We expect little children to throw temper tantrums and scream like banshees, but mature adults are supposed to handle problems more responsibly. 
  

• Develop and maintain a healthy sense of humor.  I heard a comedian once say, “My life is a sitcom and I am the star.” I feel that way a lot.  I am not suggesting that we downplay serious problems, but I am suggesting that we learn to keep our sense of humor.  Laughter is a wonderful tool for relieving stress and seeing the world in a more positive light.  Watch a good comedy, read funny stories, spend time with friends who make you laugh.  Laughter is a gift from God; use it daily.
  

• Resolve to smile and be kind to everyone every day.  This is a tall order, I know, for many people we encounter each day will not reciprocate our kindness.  Decide to be the bigger person. Take the high road.  Demonstrate for the less mature how a person with a good attitude handles daily life.   

• Find a healthy outlet for stress.  Try exercise, a new hobby, or learn some new skill.
  

• Learn to appreciate life’s small, free blessings.  Sunrises and sunsets are the most beautiful shows on earth.  A daily walk can be utter joy.  A sunny day can be a most wonderful experience. 

 

Change your attitude and change your life – for the better. 

It’s going to be a great day!

Distinguishing Between Problems and Inconveniences

A real patriot is the fellow who gets a parking ticket and rejoices that the system works.  -Bill Vaughan 

Whenever I tell people that I am from Ohio, the typical response is, “So, getting a lot of snow doesn’t bother you, right?”  The answer to this question is tricky.  You see, I am from Dayton, which is in the southwest corner of Ohio.  We had some serious snows when I was a boy, but nothing like places such as Cleveland, Toledo, or some of the regions further north.  They get the lake effect snow off Lake Erie and often they get absolutely pounded with heavy snows.  Further south in Dayton we used to have some heavy snow, but our neighbors to the north have always had it worse.  Of course, if you head further north to places such as Buffalo and Rochester, New York, those folks get even heavier snows than their Buckeye neighbors.  How bad the snow actually is can be a matter of perspective, really. 

I am pointing this out because I find myself these days frequently placing problems in some form of perspective.  Some might argue that this isn’t a good idea as it skews our view of the problems we are facing and downplays their significance.  That’s possible, but I have found that placing problems in their proper perspective can empower us to see whatever we are facing in a more positive light and they somehow no longer seem as large and overwhelming.  

As a pastor, I make frequent hospital visits.  Whenever I am having a bad day or feeling discouraged, I sometimes think about all the people I have visited who were confined to a hospital bed and in terrible suffering.  That could just as easily be me.  Yet, here I am enjoying reasonably good health.  I am still healthy, energetic, active, busy, and able to be out enjoying my day – life is good!  Such perspective causes me to realize that I honestly have no reason to be having a bad day.  A good exercise that merits serious consideration is determining the difference between problems and inconveniences.  Here are some examples:

• You start to leave for work one morning and your car will not start.  The steak you ordered at the restaurant is overcooked.  The line in front of you at the store is moving slowly.  It’s raining and you forgot your umbrella.  You are simply not having a good day.  

 All of these are nothing more than inconveniences and do not merit getting upset over.  Now, consider some of the following scenarios:

• You find yourself facing a life-threatening illness.  A close family member is going through a personal crisis.  The plant where you have worked the last 28 years is closing down. 

 In light of these genuine problems those smaller inconveniences lose their power over us. 

What sorts of problems are you facing today?  Try placing them in proper perspective by distinguishing between problems and inconveniences.  The results are wonderfully positive and liberating.  Life probably isn’t as bad as you think it is and will soon get better. 

It’s going to be a great day!