The Importance of Keeping a Good Attitude

Great effort springs naturally from great attitude. -Pat Riley 

This time of year I see people all over the region who are planting gardens.  Not only are people planting their vegetable gardens, but they are also planting flowers.  A good and healthy garden requires tending, cultivating, water, and care.  Keeping the garden growing requires discipline and hard work.  The same can be said of attitude.  A good attitude requires tremendous effort.  It will not happen all by itself.  Like a healthy garden, a positive attitude must be cultivated, worked at, developed, and watered with good daily habits.   

Attitude affects our overall outlook on life, which in turn affects how we relate those around us.  We can drive people away or we can develop fulfilling and lasting relationships.  We can accomplish worthwhile goals or we can eek our way through life.  All of this is determined by our attitude.  Often when I find myself having a bad day or I am in a sour mood I stop and take inventory of my attitude.  What exactly will being a terrible mood accomplish?  The answer, of course, is nothing.  What exactly will I make better by being surly, hateful, and hard to deal with?  The answer, of course, is nothing.  Indeed, the problems I face will only be worse if I am ruled by a bad attitude.   

A bad attitude is akin to worry; it accomplishes nothing positive and adds nothing good to our lives.  In fact, the reverse is true.  Worry and a bad attitude cause us more trouble.  We must come to the place where we realize maintaining a positive attitude empowers us to keep going during those times when life gets hard.   

Stop and take assessment of your attitude today?  Are you pushing people away who might otherwise have helped?  Or are you blessing and encouraging those around you with your vitality and zest for life?  Ultimately, you have the power to decide.  I am a Christian and a pastor, therefore my slant is on seeking God through prayer and meditation on the Bible.  This has worked wonders in my life as God has empowered me to faith, which in turn has helped me to be a brighter and more positive person.  No matter your faith or beliefs, consider giving prayer a try.   

Life is right before us, and it’s intended for us to live.  Rise up today and seek a better attitude.  You family, friends, co-workers, and neighbors will love you for it, and you will be a happier person.  About those good habits; try these: 

• Exercise daily.

• Stop making negative statements.

• Start eating healthy foods.

• Read a good book instead of watching TV.

• Plan your schedule each day and stick with it – keep a routine.

• Set attainable goals for yourself.

• Smile and say hello to strangers.

• Seek to lend a helping hand whenever possible.

 Get a good attitude and keep it – today! 

Never Give up; Life is Worth Living

In recent years I have had time to reflect on my own struggle with depression.  From 2000 to 2006 I fought a private and horrific battle with this illness.  Simple tasks such as getting out of bed in the morning, shaving, taking a shower, getting dressed, and facing the day seemed most of the time like way too much trouble.  Pursuits which once gave me tremendous joy and fulfillment began to feel hollow and unrewarding.  By the grace of God I did not give up.  I persevered through a number of dark and terrible days, I sought God’s help, and around the spring of 2006 I began to climb out of that awful pit. 

Having been able, with God’s help, to climb out of the pit of despair and depression, I now try to encourage others at every opportunity who are in a similar condition.  If I could offer just one piece of advice to someone struggling with depression it would be this; do not give up.  Life is going to get better and your situation will improve if you will hang in there and not surrender to the dark forces warring against you.  Life is indeed worth living.  The dark days you may be facing will get brighter and you will overcome.  Believe it, seek God’s help, and it will be so.   

I am grateful for a trend in society which is bringing the blues, sorrow, and depression out of the closet and into the open where they can be properly dealt with.  For decades people suffered in silence fearing that if anyone learned of their struggle they would be shunned.  Even today people are afraid of letting anyone know of their battle with depression for fear of what others will think.  Many of my colleagues in ministry who battle depression are fearful of letting it be known because they view such an admission as a ministerial career killer.

Whoever you are and whatever your station in life there is hope.  God loves you, cares for you, and there is a brighter day coming.  If you are struggling with the blues, sorrow, or depression talk to someone right away; a trusted friend, pastor, therapist, or your family doctor.  Resolve that you will rise up and take back control of your life.  Do not suffer in silence any longer.  Help is available.  In closing, let me share with you my ten reasons why life is worth living:

1. Life will get better; give it more time.  You will be amazed at how things will have improved in a year from now.
2. You are an individual of immeasurable worth and potential.  Never forget that.
3. You are not here by accident.  You were created by God for a divine purpose.
4. You are stronger than you think you are.
5. There are people who love you and need you in their lives.
6. The world is a better place with you in it.
7. You may feel terrible, yet you can be happy again.
8. God is perfectly willing to help you; just ask and He will be there for you.
9. You possess gifts and talents from which others may benefit.
10. Joy is coming if you will seek it and wait for it.

  Keep going and never give up.  Life is going to get better.  

Don’t Just Stand There; Get Moving

Exercise and temperance can preserve something of our early strength even in old age.  -Cicero (106 BC-43 BC) Roman orator and statesman 

In the midst of all the bad trends and unhealthy eating habits I observe there are a number of bright spots.  For example, I am finding many people who are getting serious about taking back control of their health.  They are throwing away their cigarettes, giving up soft drinks, cutting back on sweets and junk food, and developing exercise routines.  All of these will make not just a difference, but a profound difference.  Two weeks into an exercise program and you will feel like a new person with a fresh and exciting outlook – one which you have probably never before experienced.  Yes, it will be difficult, yet anything worth having is going to require serious effort.  Give exercise a try, for the rewards are well worth it. 

Unfortunately, our society is fostering lifestyles of inactivity.  Everyone needs a little down time, yet countless people think of their down time as sitting in front of a computer or staring at the TV.  This isn’t down time folks; this is more often than not a waste of time.  We are better off to seek to limit the amount of time we spend in front of the TV and computer and instead seek a more active and productive lifestyle.  Turn off the TV and open a book.  Walk away from the computer and go for a brisk walk in the park.  How about a little yard work?  Plant a garden or grow some flowers.  Anything we can do which gets us out of the house and engaging in physical exercise is a step in the right direction. 

I just had a conversation with someone and she was telling me about an exercise program in which she has become involved.  Four or five times a week she goes to the gym and engages in an exercise routine.  As I have stated before, you can exercise at home, however if going to a gym works for you, and then by all means pursue this.  This person was telling me how she exercises with a friend and they encourage each other and hold one another accountable.  Again, this is a great strategy for getting in shape. 

The question is, what are you waiting for?  The time is now and today is the day.  Start off easy; try doing basic calisthenics for 20-30 minutes a day.  From there you can vary your routine and add to it.  As with any new exercise regimen, be sure to check with your doctor first.   

It’s your life, my friend, and you must be the one to make positive changes and seek a brighter outlook.  No one else can accomplish this for you. Get going and get busy.  Brighter days are coming. 

Routine, Routine, Routine

Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.  ~Ovid 

Many years ago when Andrea and I were looking to purchase our first house a realtor gave us the old familiar advice about what makes a house valuable: location, location, location.  In recent years I have learned a similar idea in regards to properly managing depression, sorrow, and the blues: routine, routine, routine.  Consider how wildly out of control many peoples’  lives are these days.  Countless people fail to observe any sort of spiritual reflection or mediation, they don’t eat right, they rarely get enough rest, they hardly ever exercise, and they have no healthy outlet for stress.  Gathering our daily lives into a workable schedule and staying with a daily routine works wonders with managing negative moods and emotions.   

Many people are not functioning anywhere near their full potential.  One day I was out driving my car and I heard a loud noise from the engine.  Suddenly the car would barely run no matter how much I stepped on the gas.  The engine also sounded like it was about to blow.  Fortunately, I was close to home and managed to make it to the house, thus saving an expensive towing bill.  A quick examination of the engine showed I had blown a sparkplug, a problem easily remedied.  This illustrates my point; the car was only going on three cylinders rather than four.  As a result it would barely function. 

Exercise, diet, spiritual reflection, and healthy stress relievers are crucial to our living in our full potential.  Otherwise we are like an engine which simply doesn’t want to work properly.  We often try to do so many tasks at once that we fail to do any of them successfully.  I have found in my own life I am better off when I streamline my schedule to what I do best rather than trying to do too much.  As I stated earlier, this explains why the blog you are reading has been trimmed to every week or so.  This allows me to devote more time to my other blog, Inspirations for the Troubled Soul, which is updated daily (And which I hope you will become a daily reader!).   

We have more information coming at us these days than even before.  A daily routine helps to sort out what is most important and we learn to sift through it all in productive and positive ways.  Rather than becoming overwhelmed we learn where our priorities lie.  Stop right now and take a hard look at your life and answer these questions: 

-Am I getting enough exercise?

-Do I maintain healthy eating habits?

-Do I have a hobby or creative outlet for stress?

-Do I take time to daily pray and meditate? 

If you answered no to most of those questions then it’s time to make changes.  My friend, it can be done.  Take back control of your life.  No one can accomplish this but you.  With God’s help it can be done. 

What is Your Battle Cry?

Self-pity is easily the most destructive of the nonpharmaceutical narcotics; it is addictive, gives momentary pleasure and separates the victim from reality.  –John W. Gardner  

I love reading about the Civil War, and I consider here the July, 1861 Battle of Bull Run.  Seeking to bring a quick end to the war, President Lincoln sent 35,000 troops who had been bivouacked around Washington 35 miles south to attack the Confederates who were defending the crucial railroad junction of Manassas, Virginia.  The Union troops, many of them new and inadequately trained, were exhausted by the time they reached their destination.  On Sunday morning, July 21, the Union attacked the Confederate position and nearly won the day.  However, the Confederates, emboldened by reinforcements, surged forward and used for the first time what would come to be known as the Rebel Yell.  The Union line melted away, and the retreat carried the demoralized Union army all the way back to Washington. 

This war cry would go down in history as one associated with the desire for victory.  Do you have a battle cry these days?  Do you think in terms of “With God’s help I will succeed?” or do you more often give up and lie down in defeat?  Many people have the antithesis of a war cry and it goes like this: “Woe is me!”  This pitiful cry is often followed with self-fulfilling prophecies of, “I can’t do it!  Life is so unfair!  I’ll never be happy!  I hate my life!”  Utter these words often enough and those around you will surely see it.  Furthermore, they will begin to avoid you if possible. 

Consider a few hard questions: do you complain often?  Do you get satisfaction over negative attention?  Do you enjoy telling someone off because “being right is always what’s most important?”  Do you throw a fit in public, if say, your food at a restaurant isn’t cooked perfectly (I’d be careful about eating the pasta primavera you just sent back three times; the cook probably spit in it)?  If these traits fit you, then hear me carefully: people don’t enjoy being around you.  In fact, they are only tolerating you, perhaps out of obligation or a desire to help.  Keep on and you will eventually push away these good intentioned people. 

No one likes a bully, no one appreciates being talked down to, and believe me when I say virtually no one enjoys hearing you moan and complain about how miserable and unfair your life has become.  Now is the time and today is the day to make changes.  Not happy with your life?  Change it for the better.  Are you out of shape, overweight, and short of breath?  Take action today.  Go on a diet, start exercising, and throw away your cigarettes – cold turkey while vowing never to touch them again. 

You can be a more happy and well-rounded person.  Take up a new battle cry: “With God’s help, I will change for the better!”

The Blessings and Dangers of a Full Plate

Most of us know the feeling of having too much to do and more than we feel we can finish.  The term for this condition is having a “full plate.” In fact, I was recently asked to be a part of a local organization, which if I didn’t have so much else going on right now I would have accepted.  However, I explained how at the moment my plate is indeed full.  Consider having a full plate is a blessing, yet also dangerous.  The blessings come as a result of being a part of something larger than ourselves from which we gain tremendous satisfaction and a sense of accomplishment.  There is also the aspect of camaraderie and forming new friendships as we serve alongside those with whom we labor and share similar points of view. 

The dangers of the full plate are we become overwhelmed and spread so thin we end up engaging in great amounts of work while accomplishing little.  Anytime this occurs a cutting back on our schedules may be in order.  Many people, myself included, don’t like telling people no.  When asked to be involved in something, such as a civic group or charitable organization, we feel obligated to say yes even when we know we don’t have the time.  If we aren’t careful we up becoming discouraged and wishing we hadn’t committed ourselves in the first place.  We then miss out on the blessings which being involved are supposed to bring.   

I know in my own life I have become more involved and have a fuller schedule than ever before.  The blog you are reading right now had to be trimmed back to once a week, and even that has presented a challenge.  I have written another book which is being published and will hopefully be available within the next few weeks.  I also have taken on a position with our local hospital as a volunteer chaplain, which is a wonderful blessing and challenge, yet again takes time out of my week.  I also have made a commitment to myself to complete a novel I started a few years ago but never finished.  This is all on top of my normal day-to-day commitments as a pastor. 

Being involved and having a full plate can be good, but be careful; burnout and overextending ourselves can result.  Consider these strategies for time management and reaping the benefits of putting our talents to use.

• Know your limitations.  If your schedule is already full, be careful about adding more to it.  You may have to practice saying no more often. 

• Keep your calendar handy and updated.  Plan ahead and be aware of commitments which are today as well as next month. 

• Schedule time for family.  Our spouses and family relationships suffer when we don’t make time for them.  Be sure to let our loved ones know we care for them.  We accomplish this by making time for them. 

• Remember also to make time for yourself.  You deserve a break and time off once in a while.
  

It’s going to be a great day! 

Spending Too Much Time Online?

Life is either a daring adventure, or nothing.  -Hellen Keller 

I read an article in Reader’s Digest which did a survey involving average Internet use among the population.  Five hours a day is the average time people spend online.  78% of people surveyed confessed they had stayed up past their bedtime due to being online.  1 in 16 children under the age of five has a Facebook page.  The number of cell phones in any home is three.  As I consider these statistics I have to say that these numbers are too high and creating problems in peoples’ lives.  These days as I counsel couples facing marital problems, an issue which comes up is one or the other person spending way too much time online.  I even hear talk these days about therapy now available for those dealing with “Facebook addiction.”   

All of this technology is hindering personal growth and keeping people from experiencing the joy of connecting with humanity face-to-face rather than through an Internet chat.  Too much time in front of a computer also causes us to miss out on the joys of being outdoors on a sunny day, pursuing a hobby, or spending time with family and friends.  Sure, Facebook is good for keeping in touch with family who live hundreds of miles away, but be careful not to neglect your spouse, children, or friends who live close by.   

Consider these strategies for connecting again with the real world rather than doing so through technology:

• Resolve to limit the amount of time spent online.  Call me off my rocker, but an hour or two a day seems perfectly reasonable.  If you find you cannot achieve this because the lure of being online is too strong, then it may be time to consult a therapist.  You may be suffering from a form of Internet addiction. 

• Hold a “Tech Free Day” with your immediate family or friends.  Choose a day and go 24 hours without using any form of technology: Computer, cell phone, or TV.  I realize I have lost many people right here as you are thinking such a feat isn’t possible.  Give it a try; you will be astounded at how you grow personally by shutting off those devices for a while. 

• Re-connect with people on a face-to-face basis.  Instead of just chatting online, arrange to meet friends once a week for lunch or just coffee.  Friendships and relationships are among our greatest resources for personal growth.
  

• Engage in good old fashioned reading – in books.  You will be amazed at how you will grow. 

Don’t let technology control you.  It should be the other way around.  It’s going to be a great day – today!